I have no idea why i am writing this post now at 1 am sometimes i feel that i am really going crazy anyway homework is pileing up like mad seriously give me a break no w8 don't give US a break.
SOmetimes i don't know i think i have made a wrong decision in joining SMART no seriously somehow interest seem to just fade away due to the lack of time and me having to forgo the resillence camp and maybe just maybe not sure yet i have to miss my NCO camp.... now the interest is really gone. I think they said they were going to postpone the camp to ard march hols where i would be in the US as the Resillence camp is before that the rest should be able to attend the nco course now i really feel like crying.
i took this sentence from show luo's self hypnosis song "现在我的幽默, 只是掩饰着心痛我的难过 Now I am humorous only to conceal being grieved, my sadness" becasue i feel that it really describe my feelings right now in school i act like everything is ok and stuff but inside i feel like crap i have been forgetting alot of things because i think i really made alot of mistakes these feel days getting lots of homework choosing the wrong choice?not sure if i have made the right choice in joining SMART maybe i shouldn't have really its too much sacrifice but thinking on the sacrifices i made i don't want to quit but i also don't want to miss anymore other fun activities which most of them are going to enjoy.
Sometimes i really want o learn how to timetravel so that i can correct all the mistakes if anyof you know a REAL way to PHYSICAL timetravel not in the mind those kind PLEASE tell me i would really be greatful.
Now thinking back i don't know if it is the right choice to change to physics over biology i just can't seem to choose between them and i don't wish to take triple science.
CCa orientation was boring but i still went on 2 days as at least i still get to see my wonderfuk squad mates/unit mates most of the days it was raining so the sec 1 didn't get to try the vertical rope climb.
Anyway POP is going to be soon CC com is also going to be soon so now i guess i should wish the sec 4's good luck for their O levels and the CC team gd luck for the competition the whole squad is cheering for you bring back the gold!!
Thinking back on my cca i remembered last time Joshua was not so enthu into np but now seeing him talking about npcc campcraft he is very happy so i guess npcc isn't such a bad cca right?anyway most of the sec ones would be joining ncc but i don't really care because i know NP rawks more then ncc we are everyday laughing and playing together though they were fights but we eventually learn to get along with each other quiet nicely.like weiming he might be abit irritating at times but hes usually the one that how should i say hmm...makes everything more lively willie everytime joking,soon kiat trying to lead?yeh hang trying his best in all,ruijie doing all he can being entu in np,arnold trying his best in campcraft, kai ho trying to play his part, junjie playing joking and being serious when needed,yuen yin talking making everything more fun,junting hmm...playing around? i guess these are the more enthu ones.We have learn to work and play together in class in NP in camps thinking back on these makes me smile.Even though sometimes one makes a mistake and we all do the punishment together i still believe that those memories are happy.
now i am listening t some of show luo sad songs li liang,zi wo cui mian ,wo bu hui change ge,zhe yi miao wo ku le and others
its 1.30am now only soon hui sir is online he has become a CI and has become very black guess CI course is very tough bet soon kiat and yeh hang would take it well only time will tell.
Time to sleep(alot of homework haven't done) i think i would do it after i wake up at 5am.
